I just got off the phone with a brilliant, wise, scholarly, kind, intuitive mother. She has a lovely child under the age of one who is a crappy sleeper. Hard to put down, had to keep down, accumulated sleep debt for everyone in the family. During our chat there are ideas to explore, systems to suggest, and resources to offer.
But you know what’s really a mess about this mother?
Our conversation was the first of many she’s had with a professional that didn’t make her think she is screwing it all up. This mother, this wife, this friend, this professional who supports many people in her own line of work was made to feel inferior and inadequate because she refuses to let her infant cry itself to sleep.
Please hear me, mothers:
You are not screwing it up.
Your children are not broken.
There is not one right way to be a mother.
Infants are not a red light/green light game.
Trust your intuition.
Reach up for help.
Be patient with yourself.
Love your bebes.
And you call me if anyone is bullying you to think otherwise.